How to be a Mom- For Dummies

My husband is an instinctive parent. I could watch him play with D for hours. THAT he can play with D for hours, is a feature enough to amaze me. He becomes a goofy baby with a baby, a noisy playful toddler with a toddler and an interesting gamer with a teenager. He can actually modify his level of intellect/interaction to match the kid at hand. That is brilliant in my mind. All I can manage with a kid of any age is, 'Hi!!!...' silence.. 'er... what is your name??!!!' ...er... okay, then. *start looking for a bail out* Before my kid, I would hold a baby as though it were a ticking time bomb. Nervous, cautious and willing to hand it over to anyone and head for the adults' conversations. 

When we got home, the first few days were quite unnerving. How could they just hand me over this tiny life and expect me to manage it? There is no school to learn this from. Babies don't come with a user manual. I became a complete nerd Mom. At every step I would doubt myself and would run to blogs, internet search and online support groups for my queries. I read about breastfeeding, made log entries about feeds and pees, read about sleep management, music for babies, developmental milestones and even the colours of poop.

On the other hand, The Husband could do everything for D (other than nursing) and probably better than me. (I'm using the word 'probably' to give some room for my mother's ego). He could make D sleep, change diapers, bathe him and make him giggle heartily while doing all of this. D's face would light up on seeing his father. He'd flap his hands and feet like an upturned seal and make funny noises to show his happiness on seeing his dad.

On one regular visit to the doc, my friend and I happened to be there together. As usual, we were full of First-Time-Mom questions to the doc, 'he cries while weeing, he slept too much at night, he didn't burp this one time..' and our doc, only too familiar with our current hypochondriac-like situation calmly looked up and said, 'you know these things you should be able to answer by your mother's instinct.. which should have kicked in by now'.

Excuse me, what? Mother's instinct? Isn't that just for the movies and books? My friend and I glanced at each other, smiled a nod at the doc, stepped out and discussed how lost we were! I was so worried that I am going to screw things up as a mom, that I squished any instinct with theoretical knowledge and compromised my confidence as a mother. 

Then. On one particularly sunny day, we had a 4 hours long drive with 4 month old, D sleeping in he car seat comfortably. He slept, didn't nurse and slept some more. I thought, like father like son, 5 mins into a drive and they doze off like, well, a baby. After sometime, it didn't seem right. I kept trying to nurse him, to wake him up, but he would just look up and doze off. 

He's sleepy, let him be. 

I secretly kept checking his breathing, like I always do. 

Sweety please, you'll go mad. 

When a child is nursed on demand, he doesn't go this long without a feed. 

If he's hungry, he'll wake up- is the golden rule. We got home and a nagging feeling was tugging in me. 

Don't be so over anxious. Everything is okay. 

Something is off. 

Nothing is off. 

And D started screaming, a new cry, and I knew, I just knew.. that it is dehydration. 

I called the doc, he explained what to do and soon enough D was nursing like a new born. All's good again. 

I got my Mom swag on. Walked around with a smug smile and proud gait. Who's the Mom now eh!! Jo Maa hai na, woh Maa hoti hai! 

*MOM OUT!*