2008 v/s 2016

2008 V/S 2016

Waking Up

2008: '5 more minutes please Mom' snooze that goes on for much more than 5 times 5 minutes. Lounge around in bed and then wake up to my favorite music playing loudly.

2016: Slap, pinch, clobber. Either one of the two kids take turns to check if mommy is still in bed or has she sneaked out. Either one of the kids is handed out to my Mom and the other one is further pacified or negotiated with for '5 more minutes please kiddo'.

Getting Ready

2008: 10 minutes flat. Get up, shower, get ready, and step out. It is the same for any given day. +/- 10 mins for makeup fiascos and wardrobe settlements.

2016: Bathe the Toddler: 'please don't eat the soap, here, these are bath toys, yup that's a green duck, yes it's a weird choice of colour for a duck, no I don't give a duck about the duck's colour', negotiate getting out of the bucket, 'bye bucket, bye mug! Okay sure, bye potty'. Sing songs while making him wear clothes, else he'll realise what’s happening’. Make him wear his left shoe, then right shoe, please don’t remove your shoe, find left shoe, please don't remove the right shoe too, wear left shoe again.

Bathe the Baby: Baby has a motor sense that even he doesn't know about, which goes into excitement mode on discovering his hands or catching hold of his feet.

Finally, my turn. Try having a bath while ignoring the thoughts and noises in my head and the noises outside. Did I hear a cry? A crash? What if the elder one bites the younger one? What if the younger one rolls over?  5 minutes flat.

Total time taken: 1 hour (on a good day).

Getting Out

2008: Grab your phone, wallet, keys. Get in the car. Done.

2016: Phone, wallet, keys, car seat, water bottle, snack tiffin, meal tiffin, teether, board books for bored kid in car ride, nursing cover, diaper bag, baby carrier, stroller. I think I am missing something.

Heading out of the house without the kid(s) feels odd and empty, like someone has pressed a mute button... You can see things moving but the background score is missing. Apart from that one feels guilty. What if the kids are both crying? What if they both woke up? How will mom handle them alone? This is just selfish. I should head back. Maybe I should call them. What if my call wakes them up? Then I'm the ass. Damn it. I should've got at least one kid along.

Other scenario:

ALL ON-BOARD.

March down to the car looking like a small army unit. Attach the car seat, seat the baby, strap the toddler, and seat yourselves. Breathe. Say a lil prayer. Done.

Eating Out

2008: Lazily study the menu. Bring out the foodie in me and let her enjoy being spoilt for options. Talk over food about ideas, ideals, gossip, fads; movies... build fancy castles in air. Eat using both hands, cutlery and table manners. Savour each dish and give it the appreciation it deserves.

2016: Order what your trusted friend thinks is nice there, just make sure its non veg. Negotiate, plead, bribe the baby into sitting in the pram/stroller/high chair/baby seat. Do a happy dance if agreed. Gulp down food and drinks like you’re on the Amazing Race of food sans cutlery and manners. Talk over food about new habits, new milestones, parenting ideals and principles, the latest pissing-off thing someone said to you about your child/parenting style, get saturated with kid-talk, and divert to other topics.. er.. realise you don’t know what other things are happening in the world. Oh, food’s done.

Superhero Skills

2008 Level: Ordinary person.

2016 Level: MOM

I've got so used to having a kid at the arm that if both my hands are free I feel my body is underutilized. I have cooked a meal, watered plants, changed clothes, and loaded a collapsed pram into a car trunk etc, with baby in one arm. I’ve carried a baby, car seat, bag full of groceries, handbag, toddler shoes and phone in one trip from the car to our first floor house. Yup, did look funny. Nope, baby didn’t laugh, doesn’t have that kind of sense of humour yet.

Patience

2008: I think I am a patient person. (lol, that’s cute. You know nothing yet)

2016: Patient enough to see my prim and proper room in a constant mess of toys, half eaten food, wrinkled, jumped on bed. Patient enough to watch my toddler immensely enjoying himself while eating dosa dipped in water. Patient enough to clean the kitchen slab yet again, to pick up the toys once more, to answer each question every time with somewhat the same enthusiasm and interest. To hell with patience, I enjoy this stuff. I dig it. Love it. 2008 me would be flipping over about this. Not me.

The Person

I am the same person I have always been, this new side of me had not debuted till now. I thought I would not be able to extend into this role easily. There were so many things 2008 me thought I’d be horrible at, like talking to toddler, being able to get that giggle out of them, to be goofy and cheery and not fake it. 2016 (more confident about this) me doesn’t look back to see if my toddler is laughing at my goofs or laughing at someone standing behind me. I know that the throaty giggle is for my pretend-sneeze, or funny face. When my toddler comes running to me when sleepy or hurt, I derive as much comfort from our hug as much as he does, maybe more.

Something about these small tiny humans just inspires a change. A change is so subtle, so gradual, it sneaks up on you very slowly and before you know it, you’re someone else or a different version of yourself, (H 1.1 has been updated to H2.0, get it? Get it?). And surprisingly enough you love it. You can’t imagine yourself being any other way.

My 2 yr old just had a phone conversation with another 2 yr old. THIS is the kinda stuff that I didn’t get earlier. WHAT was so exciting about hearing ‘a cow goes? Moooo, a cat goes? Meowwww’ was beyond 2008 me. But 2016 me finds this stuff ridiculously cute, ‘Did you hear how he said, tomatototo?... Hi Massi, he wanted to say hi to you so I called’. I was the kind of person who’d stress-text her sister in irritation mixed with panic when there were too many kids on a flight/train. And I am now the person who has fed her baby unabashedly throughout the flight to calm the baby, not to quiet the baby. Babies cry, deal with it.

I’d see a baby amidst a tantrum, crying loudly, stomping feet, tears flowing and snot visible and I’d empathize the troubled mom. Today I see such a scene and all I can think is that poor baby, at a confusing, overwhelming age. Li’l cute baby doesn’t know better, he/she will obviously feel lost in this big world.

2008 me will be in stunned silence over the disbelief of what’s become of me. I think she’ll be proud after the initial shock settles. And the 2016 me is just rolling in laughter at how bloody naive I was.