Hello New Feeling

I have never  been a baby person. Kids do not fascinate me. I categorically do not understand or know how to play with children or entertain them or interact with them.

Naturally, I was very worried about my mothering skills and my 'mamta' so to say. I was slowly resigning to the fact that I'll probably be a dutiful parent at best. The one who does the 'work'- make food, clean the kids and the house, change clothes and diapers; basically, take care of needs. And Dad would be the fun parent, the one the kids bond with and have a good time around.

'Mother's bond', 'Maternal instinct' etc sounded like words bouncing off from maternity wards to make women like me feel worse (presuming there are more like me). Children don't come with a user manual, else I'd have read it cover to cover. I wondered when will that instinct kick in with me.. all the other hormones have!

Until that first vaccination.
The good people researching vaccines should really make these as easy as eating candy. All was going well till the vaccines kicked in and my little baby started crying- like never before. 

Got introduced to new cries and a new me. Watching him howl in pain, a helpless little human, was more heart wrenching than I was prepared for. I couldn't fathom who was more helpless, him or me. I couldn't eat or sit still or smile or even get distracted.

It dawned on me that life will never be the same again. I will never be the same again. My heart strings have crawled out sneakily and attached themselves to the well being of my baby.

It was a happy realization that THIS is Bond. Mother's Bond. (or the start or it).