2008 V/S 2016
Waking Up
2008: '5 more minutes please Mom' snooze that goes on for much more than 5
times 5 minutes. Lounge around in bed and then wake up to my favorite music
playing loudly.
2016: Slap, pinch, clobber. Either one of the two kids take turns to check
if mommy is still in bed or has she sneaked out. Either one of the kids is
handed out to my Mom and the other one is further pacified or negotiated with
for '5 more minutes please kiddo'.
Getting Ready
2008: 10 minutes flat. Get up, shower, get ready, and step out. It is the same
for any given day. +/- 10 mins for makeup fiascos and wardrobe settlements.
2016: Bathe the Toddler: 'please
don't eat the soap, here, these are bath toys, yup that's a green duck, yes
it's a weird choice of colour for a duck, no I don't give a duck about the
duck's colour', negotiate getting out of the bucket, 'bye bucket, bye mug! Okay sure, bye potty'. Sing songs while
making him wear clothes, else he'll realise what’s happening’. Make him wear
his left shoe, then right shoe, please
don’t remove your shoe, find left shoe, please don't remove the right
shoe too, wear left shoe again.
Bathe the Baby: Baby has a motor sense that even he doesn't know about,
which goes into excitement mode on discovering his hands or catching hold of
his feet.
Finally, my turn. Try having a bath while ignoring the thoughts and noises
in my head and the noises outside. Did I hear a cry? A crash? What if the elder
one bites the younger one? What if the younger one rolls over? 5 minutes flat.
Total time taken: 1 hour (on a good day).
Getting Out
2008: Grab your phone, wallet, keys. Get in the car. Done.
2016: Phone, wallet, keys, car seat, water bottle, snack tiffin, meal
tiffin, teether, board books for bored kid in car ride, nursing cover, diaper
bag, baby carrier, stroller. I think I am missing something.
Heading out of the house without the kid(s) feels odd and empty, like
someone has pressed a mute button... You can see things moving but the
background score is missing. Apart from that one feels guilty. What if the kids
are both crying? What if they both woke up? How will mom handle them alone?
This is just selfish. I should head back. Maybe I should call them. What if my
call wakes them up? Then I'm the ass. Damn it. I should've got at least one kid
along.
Other scenario:
ALL ON-BOARD.
March down to the car looking like a small army unit. Attach the car seat,
seat the baby, strap the toddler, and seat yourselves. Breathe. Say a lil
prayer. Done.
Eating Out
2008: Lazily study the menu. Bring out the foodie in me and let her enjoy
being spoilt for options. Talk over food about ideas, ideals, gossip, fads;
movies... build fancy castles in air. Eat using both hands, cutlery and table
manners. Savour each dish and give it the appreciation it deserves.
2016: Order what your trusted friend thinks is nice there, just make sure
its non veg. Negotiate, plead, bribe the baby into sitting in the
pram/stroller/high chair/baby seat. Do a happy dance if agreed. Gulp down food and
drinks like you’re on the Amazing Race of food sans cutlery and manners. Talk
over food about new habits, new milestones, parenting ideals and principles,
the latest pissing-off thing someone said to you about your child/parenting
style, get saturated with kid-talk, and divert to other topics.. er.. realise
you don’t know what other things are happening in the world. Oh, food’s done.
Superhero Skills
2008 Level: Ordinary person.
2016 Level: MOM
I've got so used to having a kid at the arm that if both my hands are free
I feel my body is underutilized. I have cooked a meal, watered plants, changed
clothes, and loaded a collapsed pram into a car trunk etc, with baby in one
arm. I’ve carried a baby, car seat, bag full of groceries, handbag, toddler
shoes and phone in one trip from the car to our first floor house. Yup, did
look funny. Nope, baby didn’t laugh, doesn’t have that kind of sense of humour
yet.
Patience
2008: I think I am a patient person. (lol, that’s cute. You know
nothing yet)
2016: Patient enough to see my prim and proper room in a constant mess of
toys, half eaten food, wrinkled, jumped on bed. Patient enough to watch my
toddler immensely enjoying himself while eating dosa dipped in water. Patient
enough to clean the kitchen slab yet again, to pick up the toys once more, to
answer each question every time with somewhat the same enthusiasm and interest.
To hell with patience, I enjoy this stuff. I dig it. Love it. 2008 me would be
flipping over about this. Not me.
The Person
I am the same person I have always been, this new side of me had not
debuted till now. I thought I would not be able to extend into this role
easily. There were so many things 2008 me thought I’d be horrible at, like
talking to toddler, being able to get that giggle out of them, to be goofy and
cheery and not fake it. 2016 (more confident about this) me doesn’t look back
to see if my toddler is laughing at my goofs or laughing at someone standing
behind me. I know that the throaty giggle is for my pretend-sneeze, or funny
face. When my toddler comes running to me when sleepy or hurt, I derive as much
comfort from our hug as much as he does, maybe more.
Something about these small tiny humans just inspires a change. A change is
so subtle, so gradual, it sneaks up on you very slowly and before you know it,
you’re someone else or a different version of yourself, (H 1.1 has been updated
to H2.0, get it? Get it?). And surprisingly enough you love it. You can’t
imagine yourself being any other way.
My 2 yr old just had a phone conversation with another 2 yr old. THIS is
the kinda stuff that I didn’t get earlier. WHAT was so exciting about hearing
‘a cow goes? Moooo, a cat goes? Meowwww’ was beyond 2008 me. But 2016 me finds
this stuff ridiculously cute, ‘Did you
hear how he said, tomatototo?... Hi Massi, he wanted to say hi to you so I
called’. I was the kind of person who’d stress-text her sister in
irritation mixed with panic when there were too many kids on a flight/train.
And I am now the person who has fed her baby unabashedly throughout the flight
to calm the baby, not to quiet the baby. Babies cry, deal with it.
I’d see a baby amidst a tantrum, crying loudly, stomping feet, tears
flowing and snot visible and I’d empathize the troubled mom. Today I see such a
scene and all I can think is that poor baby, at a confusing, overwhelming age.
Li’l cute baby doesn’t know better, he/she will obviously feel lost in this big
world.
2008 me will be in stunned silence over the disbelief of what’s become of
me. I think she’ll be proud after the initial shock settles. And the 2016 me is
just rolling in laughter at how bloody naive I was.
Wow....it's too too good ma'am...n completely agree to each n every word.. love u for this
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